Divorce

                                       

    I am so grateful that my life has not been directly affected by divorce.  My parents have been happily married for 49 years.  I grew up in a very safe and loving environment.  I am now married to a great man who is a wonderful husband and a great Dad.  We have three children and we are very happy. 

            One of my best friends is going through a very difficult divorce.  She and her husband were very happily married for almost twenty years.  Her husband was in an accident several years ago and he became addicted to pain killers.  It has been awful to watch his actions slowly destroy their family.  Their oldest son just left for a mission and seems to be doing well but the other three are sad and hurting.  Although divorce is unavoidable at times it is so difficult for the children.  Children are the ones who truly suffer when parents choose to divorce.  I think it is important to put the needs of the children first. Unless there is serious damage done to a person’s mental state then they should do everything they can to work out the relationship. 

            Some of the best marriage advice I was given came from my stake president.  When my husband and I went to meet with him before we got married he counseled us to always pray together and hold hands.  He said that no couple had ever done this and still wanted to divorce.  It is very difficult to argue when you are holding hands.  I think also attending the temple can greatly strengthen your marriage. 

            I feel very secure in my own marriage.  My husband and I love each other and are very best friends.  We are raising a child with autism and I think this can either make or break a couple.  For us it has made us.  Our son has strengthened our marriage in many ways.  Most of all we have to communicate.  If our communication breaks down then so does our son.

            My biggest want is for my children to always be happy.  I hope and pray that my children will find loyal and kind spouses.  I loved the talk from Elder Oaks titled, Divorce.  He gives great counsel to those who have been divorced and to those who are going through a divorce but my favorite advice was given to those who are not yet married when he said, “The best way to avoid divorce from an unfaithful, abusive, or unsupportive spouse is to avoid marriage to such a person. If you wish to marry well, inquire well.”  I also know that I need to raise my children to be the kind of person that I want them to marry one day.  I need to teach them to be committed and to serve and sacrifice.