Cherishing your spouse

How much do I love this guy???

About this much...

This week I have reflected a great deal on my marriage.  I married Dave almost sixteen years ago. We met in a singles ward here in Las Vegas.  We were both dating other people at the time.  Both of our significant others lived in Salt Lake City.  I didn’t care for Dave too much when I first met him.  We would play basketball on Monday nights after our Family Home Evenings.  I felt that he was too intense and bossy.  He was studying for the bar and his relationship in Salt Lake was falling apart so he took his frustrations out on the basketball court and that was my first impression of him.  He knew that he wanted to date me right from the start even when he was dating the other girl.  In time as we got to know each other more as friends I began to recognize his good qualities.  I still didn’t want to date him and tried to pair him off with my friends but he wasn’t interested in them.  He asked me out on a few dates and I was trying really hard not to like him.  I still remember the day when all my walls came tumbling down.  To make a long story short we were at the Bellagio and he picked a flower from one of their exotic flower arrangements.  He handed it to me and said, “Here, I picked you a flower.”  I completely melted.  He saw it in my countenance and knew he had me.

We were married a few months later in the Salt Lake Temple.  We were very fortunate to have Elder Holland as our sealer.  Elder Holland spoke to my husband about the importance of him understanding what it means to sacrifice and he spoke to me about unconditional love.  It was an amazing day.  I think for most people their wedding day is all foggy but for me it is clear and beautiful.  I remember and try to apply messages from our sealing ceremony all the time.  When I go to the temple I am always reminded of something I learned that day. 

Our marriage has not been trouble free but it has been so much easier than I expected.  We are very best friends and we grow more fond of each other every day.  We have had challenges with children.  It started about a year into our marriage when after two miscarriages we realized that having children would not be easy.  We spent the next three years in fertility treatments.  During this time we fasted and prayed together and attended the temple every single week.  We were strengthened greatly by this.  Finally we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy.  I remember the first time I saw my baby handed to my husband.  I never knew I could love anyone so much.  When we experienced more fertility issues I believe our experiences with our first trial of infertility continued to strengthen us and after in-vitro fertilization we were blessed with twin girls.  During this time we learned that our son had autism.  This can be a dividing factor in many marriages but my husband is supportive and incredibly patient with my son and often we talk about how without him our lives would be nearly perfect but totally empty.  Our son forces us to rely on the Savior and to be in sync with one another.  Our son makes our entire family more centered on Jesus Christ. 

               What makes our marriage strong?  I believe it is because our number one goal is to be more like our Savior Jesus Christ.  As we work towards this goal and focus on Him we are naturally drawn closer to each other.   We are very best friends and we always try to put each other’s needs before our own.  We also don't keep score.  We trust that the other person is doing all that they can to serve our family.  In H. Wallace Goddard's book titled, Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage he states, "So it turns out that our sacrifices are not sacrifices, but purchases.  We “sacrifice” our puny preferences and God rewards us with eternal joy. What a bargain!  In Heaven’s economy, so much is gotten for so little.”  If we view the "sacrifices" in marriage as opportunities for to serve then they won't seem like sacrifices at all.  It takes two people to make a great marriage and I am super thankful that I get to make my marriage work with Dave.  He is the best person for me.