Covenant Marriage

               

This week I read an article by Bruce C. Hafen that can be found here. https://app.box.com/embed/preview/09y4qxqfppbe8oz5uuje39utsdv566rt?theme=dark  This talk was very timely for me and I loved so much of what Brother Hafen had to say.  Elder Hafen talks about how to have a covenant marriage.  It seems like so many young couples today fall in love with the idea of a wedding but not so much the idea of a marriage. 

Elder Hafen tells us, “Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will.”  My husband and I were fortunate enough to be married by Elder Holland.  He sat us down in the hallway outside the sealing room and looked us straight into our eyes and asked if we were sure we knew what we were doing.  He explained that this was not something we could change our mind about when the going gets tough.  I got a little nervous but took one look at my husband and I knew I was in the right place at the right time with the right guy.  When I told Elder Holland that I was sure he smiled at us and said, “Great…lets go get married.”  I think there are so many people who get sealed in the temple and then when they realize that it’s not a fairy tale they want to bail out.  Elder Holland made sure we understood that was not an option.  Marriage requires a lot of faith but it brings the greatest rewards. 

Elder Hafen talks about three wolves that will attack our marriages.  Natural adversity, their own imperfections and excessive individualism.  I feel like my marriage is mostly attacked by natural adversity.  My relationship with my husband has been very easy.  Our challenges have come from infertility and challenges with our autistic son.  I feel very blessed to say that I have a covenant marriage.  I am not sure that our marriage could handle the challenges of raising an autistic son if we did not have a marriage centered on our Savior Jesus Christ.  We try very hard to have a Christ Centered home.  As we strengthen our own testimonies and focus on our own spiritual growth we our marriage grows stronger and we are able to provide a safe and stable environment for our children.  

How do you develop and maintain a covenant marriage?  I think you can prepare all of your life for a covenant marriage.  We go to the temple together often.  We go on dates.  My husband tells me often how much he loves me and how blessed he believes our children are to have me for a mom.  This kind of reassurance does wonders for a relationship.  We fulfill our callings.  We have family scripture study and prayer nearly every day.  When Elder Holland married us he asked me what unconditional love was.  He told me that was my role as a wife and mother was to have unconditional love.  He then asked my husband what sacrifice meant.  He told him that his role was to sacrifice.  We have a sign on our bedroom wall that says, “Always kiss me good night” I think it is so important to show affection.  It doesn’t matter what else is going on I greet my husband with a hug and a kiss when he walks through the door. 

A covenant marriage is something so worth fighting for.  Like a testimony it requires constant attention.  If you neglect it before you realize what has happened it will be gone.  Through love and sacrifice and focusing on our Savior we can have a covenant marriage.